【爱到底是什么】【
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自从小萍因为要就近照顾老家里生病的老母亲、而不得已搬出了ｆｒａｎｋ的老家后，习惯了一年多来、小萍在这间房子里的存在的ｆｒａｎｋ，偶然站在只剩自己一人身影的客厅，竟莫名多了一些淡淡的伤感。
有点傻气的铃铛般笑声，总是用“奴奴”称唿自己的嗲里嗲气，看着韩剧会莫名流下眼泪的超低哭点…这是我所认识的小萍，也是我最近在恍惚之间，偶尔会闪过眼前的一抹身?啊?br />
那是什么感觉？有点像被什么东西给硬是刺进心里的酸和痛，而这样的感觉多久没有过了？才过了３０岁的年纪，ｆｒａｎｋ却像个６０岁的老头子地回想往年，直到忆起最近一次让人不由得落泪的时刻，心里情感交杂出的酸和痛，已是某年秋天，我带着小婷远远目送她曾经的爱、曾经算依归的男人，其实也是我曾经的朋友、陈牙医和他的出殡行列…走向死亡、面临失去，才能唤醒对某一个人的情感存在的认知；如今的ｆｒａｎｋ，似乎也正走到这样麻木不仁的情感交口。
然后，我落泪了，无声无息，莫名的焦躁翻腾了我的心绪，连用手擦去眼泪的过程都觉得心痛！原因除了小萍的事之外，更多是因为桌上的一封限时信件里，正放着一张照片和一则简短的字条…照片里，一个曾经深爱过的女人，一幕躺在医院病床上、靠着唿吸器苟延残喘的孱弱影像；而他的丈夫在简短的字条中告诉我、她希望我去看她的最后一面，即使是相隔五六年的不曾再见…“怎么会？怎么会？”，ｆｒａｎｋ的喃喃自语中，也记起前年收到她给我的婚礼喜帖时，喜帖上的郎才女貌令人称羡，怎会下一次再得到她的消息时，却已经是徘徊在猪羊变色的生死交关？
而多久没有联络了？就连她的婚礼，我也只托人送去了礼金、并没有出席，更别说和她有平时在电话、网路上的联系了。
“不管我们有没有在一起，我们都会是永远的朋友！”，分手那时候的洒脱，早已不复见，尽管在一起才一年出头的短暂时光，也因一时年轻气盛的互有坚持而分道扬镳，但强忍过的眼泪，却在无声无息中，一次全都还给了○○○，一个名字，一个女人，一段记忆，或许，也是一份爱。
于是，我离开家，不敢直视这封信里包含的一切；等我回过神来的时候，我人已经在某一间小公寓的套房里，眼前的餐桌上，则是满满的饭菜和热汤。
“主人老公，怎么了？嗯？”，这里是我为柯姐准备待产的小房间，离她本来居住的陈家大宅、车程并不算太远－但至少远得够免去无谓的流言蜚语在街头巷尾流传；而即将成为第３个孩子的母亲的她，也总是用像一个有耐心的母亲般的态度、从容地拥抱着我的任何情绪。
而我，摇了摇头，没有回答，只是自顾自地捧起一碗白饭、开始大口啃咬起来；却也才发现今天柯姐弄的白饭，起来居然有点咸味。
“主人老公…”，听见柯姐担心的低唤，一转头，ｆｒａｎｋ才瞥见白饭里的泪光点点，也知道了我今天碗里的白饭有着咸度，并不是因为柯姐有多加了任何的盐…--------------------------------------------------------------------------那一个晚上，我没回家，勉强挤进两个成年人的双人床上，习惯侧睡的柯姐，维持着已然看过多次的睡姿，却也多了一两个像是抱枕的柔软物件、好来衬垫着她那孕育着属于我血脉的新生命的大腹便便。
而她，柯姐，依然有着裸睡的习惯；睡不着的我，在凌晨一点多，顶着二月微凉的夜晚月光，正直盯着眼前突然让人感到陌生的女人－或者是说一副成熟女人的赤身裸体。
最近一次产检，庄医生说柯姐的身体状况尚可，但担忧４０几岁的年纪、毕竟是一种生产时的考验，养尊处优的贵妇当久了，身体也容易变得像放久的玫瑰花般的一碰即碎。
５月底是预产期的柯姐，却对此全然没有多做犹豫－摆平了家里的“那个人”－也就是她名义上丈夫的陈先生给的为难后，“为母则刚”的天性，让柯姐勇敢地表明想挑战自己身体上的极限。
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